Elsinore

Once upon a time there was a young girl named Amanita.  Amanita was 32 years old and lived in D'Elormie, Dies Irae.  While walking home from school one day, a red

wolf

jumped out from behind a tree and tackled Amanita to the ground.  But just when she was about to let out a scream for help, Amanita realized that the red wolf was only

licking her face, not trying to bite it off.  At that moment, Amanita decided to keep the red wolf as a pet.  And on the way home she decided to name her pet red wolf

''Elsinore.''  When Amanita and her new pet finally got home, guess who was standing on the front porch?  That's right, it was Amanita's mother, Artemisia.  And boy was she

surprised to see a red wolf following Amanita into the yard!  ''What in world is that?'' shouted Artemisia.  ''It's a red wolf,'' answered Amanita.  ''Dah, I can see that, Amanita,

but what on earth is it doing here?'' said Artemisia.  ''It's my new pet!'' answered Amanita.  ''Oh you think so do you?'' remarked Artemisia.  ''I wouldn't get your hopes up. You

know how your father hates red wolfs.  But, well, I suppose you can keep him until your father comes home.''  And with that Amanita grabbed Elsinore by the scruff of the

neck and led her new pet into the house--even though she knew her father was probably going to disapprove.  Once in the house, Amanita and Elsinore played and played,

that is until Amanita's favorite television show, ''Lost,'' started.  At that point Amanita forgot all about Elsinore having an unsupervised run of the house.  That is until half way

through ''Lost,'' when Amanita was brought back to reality when she heard her father shout, ''damn!!  Amanita! Get your bulbous in the bedroom...NOW!!''  With that Amanita

rushed into the bedroom to see what all the fuss was about.  When she entered the bedroom, there stood her father, Digitalis, pointing toward the bed.  ''Will someone please

explain that?'' asked her father.  Then, as Amanita followed her father's finger to where it was pointing, she instantly knew what her father was so upset about.  There,

smack dab in the middle of the bed, was the biggest pile of wolf doo-doo she had ever seen!  ''I don't EVEN want to know how that got there,'' said Digitalis.  ''But you had

better get it cleaned up now!  And you had better get rid of whatever it is that could have done such a thing!''  Well, knowing her father as well as she did, Amanita knew

there was no sense even asking her father if she could keep Elsinore for a pet.  So without hesitation, Amanita set out to find where Elsinore was hiding.  After a few

minutes of looking, Amanita discovered Elsinore crouched beneath the table that Amanita did her reading on.

''Come on, Elsinore, it's time to find you a new home.  And hey, don't look at me that way, I'm not the one who did the dirty deed on the bed!'' scolded Amanita.

''Thanks to you I'll never get to have my own pet wolf!!  And with that Amanita led Elsinore out of the house and down to the local Dollarama.

They had a pet section and Amanita knew the owner would find Elsinore a good home.  So after saying good-bye to Elsinore,

and thanking the owner of Dollarama, Amanita walked backed home and attempted to drown her sorrows by slamming down a half dozen daiquiris.  But

Amanita's pity party came to an abrupt end when her father reminded her about the mess she had neglected to clean up.  And low and behold, midway through the clean-

up, Amanita suddenly became thankful that someone else was going to have to do it from now on.  The End.